Open relationships and Polyamory - what are they? do they work? I have so many questions!

I read an interesting article the other day about a lesbian couple who have been together for 7 years, they decided to open the relationship and bring other lovers into their relationship, it has made me think.
How does one have an open relationship? how do people swing?
We are taught by society and our parents that this is wrong, that there are other implications, what about emotions, loyalty and jealousy? Do humans have the capacity to love or be intimate with more than one person the sexual desires aside?
I wonder whether its fear of our emotions that stops us from these kind of relationships, or perhaps its selfishness, of course there is the worry in this day and age of STD's and aids.

Some opinions say that sometimes the balance of power is unequal in a relationship. It is your responsibility to yourself to move the gauge in a more advantageous direction.
do couples in long-term relationships that explore this as an alternative to separation?
I have heard that the relationships that last the longest are the ones that "never make promises." is this true?

What is the difference between and "NSA" relationship and an "Open relationship":

A “NSA” relationship infers that there is little to no feelings attached to whatever physical activities the two are engaged in. Meaning that there is absolutely no emotional or physical intimacy shared between the two, even if the two are occasionally naked together.

However, an open relationship implies the possibility there are feelings of attachment, caring and perhaps even a little or a lot of intimacy shared between the two. However they recognize that at this time, a closed, committed relationship would be doomed. So instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water, they agree to an open relationship.

Shouldn't this work?

Cat Quotes

This is Jack Daniels my beautiful, gorgeous cat!
I grew up with dogs but realized a few years ago that I am more of a cat person.
I think that one has to truly understand and be gentle with a cat, they have so much personality it just takes patience learning to appreciate them. They are very sensitive creature.

being gay and not having any human children I think we tend to dote on our fluffy "children" and spoil them rotten!

Found some really interesting cat quotes.

Cat Proverbs, Sayings & Quotes

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.
Colonial

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.
English

No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.
Abraham Lincoln

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Mary Bly

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
Albert Schweitzer

Settling a dispute through the law is like losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
Chinese

A cat goes to a monastery, but still she remains a cat.
Congolese

The cat is a saint when there are no mice about.
Japanese

The cat is a lion to the mouse.
Albanian

A house without either a cat or a dog is the house of a scoundrel.
Portuguese

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner.
Hebrew

Handsome cats and fat dung heaps are the sign of a good farmer.
French

Beware of people who dislike cats.
Irish

Who cares well for cats will marry as happily as he or she could ever wish.
French

An old cat will not learn how to dance.
Moroccan

A cat will teach her young ones all the tricks, except how to jump backwards.
Netherlands Antillean

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there's a hole nearby.
Nigerian

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
Ellen Perry Berkeley

If you play with a cat, you must not mind her scratch.
Yiddish

To live long, eat like a cat, drink like a dog.
German

A cat has nine lives; for three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays.
English-American

A cat with a straw tail keeps away from fire.
English

Those that dislike cats will be carried to the cemetery in the rain!
Dutch

After dark all cats are leopards.
Native American (Zuni)

If stretching were wealth, the cat would be rich.
African

One should not send a cat to deliver cream
Yiddish

The cat--moon eats the gray mice of night.
Western Europe

When the cat's away, the mice will play.
Western Europe

It's for her own good that the cat purrs.
Irish

Cats don't catch mice to please Khoda(God).
Afgani

Fat cats and thin birds can share a yard, but thin cats and fat birds no way!
Rosicrucian

Like the cat in the tree, getting caught up in the chase can leave us in an awkward place.
Rosicrucian

The cat laps the moonbeams in the bowl of water, thinking them to be milk.
Zen Saying

If men were now to turn their hostility towards the cat, it would not be long before the domestic cat became a wild animal.
Nigeria

In even a cat the Buddha-nature exists.
Japanese Buddhist

It is useless to show the gold piece to a cat.
Zen Saying

Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat.
Irish

It's a brave bird that makes its nest in the cat's ear.
Hindi/Indian

A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.
Chinese

He who does not feed his cat will feed rats.

Dogs are dogs, but cats are people.

When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined.
Iranian

Beware of the cat that licks from the front but claws from behind.
Old English Proverb

A trapped cat becomes a lion.
Old English Proverb

Life's like cat vomit; if you don't clean it up right away, you're going to step in it.
Xnterna

Drowsing, they take the noble attitude of a great sphinx, who, in a desert land, sleeps always, dreaming dreams that have no end.
Charles Baudelaire

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain

One cat just leads to another.
Ernest Hemingway

The cat is nature's beauty.
French

The dream of cats is all mice.
Egyptian

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
Hippolyte Taine

No heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my cats are there to welcome me.
Scottish

Dogs see people as companions; cats see people as staff.

It is better to feed one cat than many mice.
Norwegian

The cat does not negotiate with the mouse.
Robert K. Massie

You see, the wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
Albert Einstein

When the cat is not home, the mice will dance on the table.
Dutch

When a Cat adopts you there is nothing to be done about it except put up with it until the wind changes.
T.S. Eliot

A cat in her house has the teeth of a lion.
Somali

A kitten can catch only a baby mouse.
Ghana

The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter when I tell you a cat must have three different names...
T.S. Eliot

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul.
Jean Cocteau

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.
Pablo Picasso

The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way.
Mark Twain

What greater gift than the love of a cat?
Charles Dickens

do lesbians get the broody blues?

I was chatting one of my straight friends the other day and I mentioned that I was feeling quite broody of late as most of my straight friends are "matching and hatching", I was quite angry at what she came up with as to why I shouldn't as a gay woman have children.
here is the conversation with friend who has a kid:
me: "I am feeling quite broody lately"
friend: "really?" (with a frown in her voice)
me: "yes, really....I have been speaking to various people about the various options"
friend: "what does your partner say?"
me: "she is not that keen, she has nieces and nephews, we have a pet, we have each other what more do we need?"
friend: "hmmm......children are a huge commitment!! your life will change?"
me: "being in a relationship is a huge commitment, I want my life to change!"
friend: "your lifestyle of partying will stop"
me: "do you think at the age of over 30, I want to party all the time?"
friend goes onto to say (in a highly skeptical voice) that she does know gay people who have kids, but she does not give me much information about them....
why do I feel so judged for having normal motherhood feelings and emotions like any other mammal female? what gives straight people the right to feel that they are the only people in this world who must and can pro-create!!!!
here are some facts my friend:
How are the children conceived?
1. most of the research shows that it was not through heterosexual sex but other forms of insemination or adoption, most lesbian couples prefer if if given a choice to choose the donor.
Does the donor have to be part of the child's life?
This is usually at the descretion of the parents
Does one parent play the role of the mom and the other the dad?
What kind of question is that? its the same as asking whether one of the is the man and one is the woman? there are those couples that play the fem / butch roles but these days there are no roles and each parent will contribute their influences and backround into the relationship and to the child brought up in their home, as far as I am concerned I am a woman loving a woman, I am in a relationship with a woman and I do not want to be in a relationship with a man, why would I want a woman to portray herself as a man? according to research there is a lot of negotiation that takes place with regards to roles such as who carries the child, who takes the child to school etc but surely those are negotiations among straight parents too?
Who is the real mom?
most non-biological partners usually adopt the child so in fact both people are the child's legal parents.
What does the child call each 'mom'?
This depends on the parents and the child, sometimes 'mommy' and 'mom', sometimes first names.
what about a 'male' influence in the child's life?
I personally don't see any reason, why friends, cousins, uncles or grandparents should not be able to fit this bill?

As far as I am concerned its not the means of having the child its raising it to be good, kind and compassionate in a world that is misunderstood, cruel and unreasonable.

My New Purchase

I have decided to start with my new purchase: a 4rth generation ipod nano, 8G.
Being a techno kid who absolutely loves music, I have always wanted but sometimes could not afford the lastest "music" gadget.
After looking at thousands of internet sites and sending my manager on a window shopping, pricing trip while he was overseas, as well as doing window shopping at the stores myself, I even went as far as looking through all that useless advertising that you receive in the post.
I finally got a friend of a friend to bring me one from Canada!

This is someone elses review and I will comment:
The good: The fourth-generation iPod Nano is more attractive and colorful than its predecessor and includes Apple's new Genius playlist tool, a tilt sensor, and accessibility features for the visually impaired
I quite like the search facility, I havent quite got to use the genius playlist tool but the alarm clock, games, and stopwatch are very useful!

The bad: To use the new Nano, you must upgrade to Apple's iTunes 8 software with its laundry list of hardware requirements; the rounded screen invites glare; sound quality is only average.
itunes is not such a bad piece of software although I do wish I didnt have to use itunes and I could use any other software, I am yet to experience the glare, and the sound quality is good depending on the earphones you are using.
my irritation is the fact that I cannot find a compatible wall changer or a decent docking station for it as these things are yet to come onto the market?

It is a gorgeous little toy, I take it everywhere with me and it now has 1,435 songs on it from 1960-the new millenium!
and since this is a blog about lesbian stuff! its a lesbian must, especially for those poorer of us who dont have a car stereo, who's stereo has been ripped out of our cars or for drowning out nagging boring girlfriends and partners!!

since my last blog.....

This Lesbian has gone through so many things in since her last blog, firstly its the new year 2009 with all its new hopes and prospects (well we hope there will be new prospects, particularly money and business wise)

I got my cat back from my ex ( officially called jack daniels the 'baggage' cat),

I purchased my 4rth generation ipod nano

I spent some of the beginning of the year watching the 5th Season of the L word,

I have a new little being in our extended family (this came with a whole lot of emotions for me),

And I am finally going to Europe for the first time in my life!!

so many things to talk about - which do I begin with???

Gaming lesbians!

I cant believe that my last post was in May!
let me see what have I been doing? alot and nothing..... but most recently I have discovered the joys of the play station 2!
Yup - now we get to spend 10 hours of weekend time playing T.V. or Video games as they used to be called, now its Play Station 1,2,3 , The Wii and Xbox whichever version has come out!

Yes lesbians become like little boys battling it out on a T.V. screen.
What are the lesbians playing these days?? anything and everything...
my favourites at the moment:

Gran Terismo
Mortal Kombat
The Sims
Spiderman
etc etc

I love the whole escapasm and adrenalin rush aspect of these games, although some are rather disturbing and remain in ones mind hours after playing the game...

But more on this once I have done more research......

Queer as Folk VS the Sims

Wow, I was searching the net today and can you believe there is a version of the sims as the Q.A.F characters, this is a game I would proberly spend hours playing!

I wonder if there is The L Word version of the sims yet?