Gaming lesbians!

I cant believe that my last post was in May!
let me see what have I been doing? alot and nothing..... but most recently I have discovered the joys of the play station 2!
Yup - now we get to spend 10 hours of weekend time playing T.V. or Video games as they used to be called, now its Play Station 1,2,3 , The Wii and Xbox whichever version has come out!

Yes lesbians become like little boys battling it out on a T.V. screen.
What are the lesbians playing these days?? anything and everything...
my favourites at the moment:

Gran Terismo
Mortal Kombat
The Sims
Spiderman
etc etc

I love the whole escapasm and adrenalin rush aspect of these games, although some are rather disturbing and remain in ones mind hours after playing the game...

But more on this once I have done more research......

Queer as Folk VS the Sims

Wow, I was searching the net today and can you believe there is a version of the sims as the Q.A.F characters, this is a game I would proberly spend hours playing!

I wonder if there is The L Word version of the sims yet?

Queer as Folk again!

Finally finished watching Queer as Folk, I love the season, and of all the characters my favourite is Brian Kenney, and to think he is actually straight in reality!

Here are a few of my favourite quotes of this character who finally grows a heart at the end of season 5.

Brian: Are you coming or going? Or coming and then going? Or coming and staying? (Episode: 101)
Brian: Pop quiz, no talking. Here's your question. Multiple choice. Do you want to come home with me? A, yes. B, yes. Or C, yes. Tick tick tick! Time's up, pencils down. What do you say?
Brian: I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. (Episode: 101)
Brian: There’s only two kinds of straight people in this world: the ones that hate you to your face and the ones that hate you behind your back. (Episode: 102)

Brian: This is where I live. This is who I am. (Episode: 501)
Brian: I'm queer! (Episode: 501)
Brian: And to anyone who takes pity or offense, I say judge yourself. It's who I am. (Episode: 501)
Brian: My mother was a frigid bitch, my father an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is problably why I am unwilling or unable to perform a long term, commited relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs, and have more or less redefined promiscuous sex dosen't help, much. As a result, I've lost the two people in my life that mean the most of me. There, don't you feel better? No, but I'm sure you do. (Episode: 508)
Brian: I love you. (Episode: 510)
Brian: I love you.Justin: Hmmm...Brian: I love you. (Episode: 510) Justin: What changed your mind?Brian: I finally thought of one good reason to do it.Justin: And what is that one good reason?Brian: To prove to the person that I love how much I love him. That I would give him anything...I would do anything...I'd be anything...to make him happy. I am selling the loft and the club.Justin: Without even knowing what my answer will be?Brian: I am taking my chance on love.Justin: And you mean it?Brian: I never meant anything more.Justin: OK.Brian: OK?Justin: Let's do it.Brian: Say it.Justin: Yes.Brian: Yes what?Justin: Yes. Yes. I will marry you. (Episode: 511)
Brian: Why can't we just stay here and cuddle? (Episode: 513)

Begin - Unknown

Begin

T oday is the day to begin. This new year is a blank canvas upon which you have the delightful opportunity to paint.

As you do, be authentic. Your greatest accomplishments are the ones that contain the greatest quantity of you.

Be innovative and creative. The challenges you face will melt away when you apply fresh, original thinking to them.

Remember not to take yourself too seriously. You'll climb much higher when you're thoroughly enjoying the effort.

As you move forward, do so with genuine and persistent integrity. That way, the results you create will be results that are actually worth attaining.

Today you stand at the beginning of a grand adventure, with the very real and present opportunity to shape this year into the best one ever.

Begin now, take the initiative, and never stop living life according to who you know you are.

When

When When your reasons to move forward outweigh your excuses for staying put, you will move forward. When your thirst for success is more powerful than the desire to stay within your comfort zone, you will succeed.
When the reward is meaningful enough, you will act. When you connect your deepest purpose with the goals you set, those goals will be achieved.
When you understand that there is a real and accessible pathway to the most magnificent dreams you can dream, you'll get yourself on that path. When you know without a doubt that every action has a consequence, you'll focus all your actions in a positive and valuable direction.
When you love what you do, you'll do it with grace and ease and excellence. When you do what you love, you'll provide a steady stream of unique and extraordinary gifts to life.
When you are completely clear about why, you'll be able to figure out how. When you let go of the need to need, you'll fall into a massive sea of beautiful abundance.
When you are ready, life is here to fully live. Choose it, and now is when. -- Ralph Marston

Family.....

I took my mother out for cake and coffee for "Mother's Day", my mother and I do not have the easiest relationship and it became more estranged and strained when I came out. Yesterday was the first time in weeks that I saw her face light up when I walked through the door, it made me feel welcome and loved again even if it was superficial, even though she didnt mention my partner or ask me how living together and creating a life with my partner is, or when she could come over for a meal or some tea.

Why is it that we try please our families particularly our parents? Why do I need their approval so much? Will it make me love myself more, could I be happy living the life my parents wanted even though it makes me miserable?

I think that when we come out and live an openly gay/lesbian lifestyle, we tend to make our own families, we meet people who are in the same situation as us and sometimes our friendships formed with these people are closer than those of our biological families.

Yet one can never replace the biological family and love them or hate them, you had no choice in the matter when you came into this world and neither did they.

Rocky Horror!

I went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the theatre the other night, it was fantastic, A thoroughly enjoyable production and to think that this film / Theatre production was first shown in 1973 with audience participation and the midnight shows! - Rocky Horror has become a cult classic and was in my opinion quite progressive for its time, bringing Transexuals and Transvestites OUT into the open with Pride! And Frank N Furter the main character really makes men in stilettos look hot!

The music is also very catchy!

A site worth investigating if you are a fan is: http://www.rockyhorror.com/

the dance of difference!

Have you ever felt so different and alone in a room almost full of people you know?

I got invited to a dinner by my martial arts club, after a great amount of cajoling and convincing from my instructors, I decided to dress up for the occasion and shlep my partner along for moral support. I had told my instructors that because the club is a family club and not a "family" club, I would feel uncomfortable sitting at the dinner surrounded by all those straight happy families with their kids, they assured and re-assured me that myself and partner would be welcome and that we are living in a modern world and people should just deal with the fact that I am gay.

We get to the dinner, a woman walks up to us, says to me "Is this your friend? she is gorgeous, where have you been hiding her?" I am not sure what I make of that comment. We then decide to find a table, we have to sit alone because the people I usually train with have decided to exclude us, completely.

Enough was enough, I got my certificate, they spelt my name wrong, dinner was served 3 hours later ( I heard!) We left early! my decision from pure frustration, not to mention the expense for nothing that I enjoyed.

I left the party feeling so sad. I am so different from those people and it was so apparent. I will never be part of that kind of crowd or lead the lifestyle they lead.

Why was I sad when I want to be different? I have spent years fighting for my rights and the rights of others, the rights to be able to lead a 'different' lifestyle and have that lifestyle accepted into a society that discriminates against people who are 'different'.

I was sad because we, as a gay/lesbian community have to do much more fighting,educating, teaching and learning. Myself as a person has to constantly strive for that peace within myself to accept that not everyone will appreciate me for me.

And although I think I am different, we are all born different!

Charles M. Schwab: The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is.

Pick ups and let downs!

I am not the greatest when it comes to picking up girls in clubs, pubs or anywhere else most of the women I have met, I think, were taken by my natural charm, wicked sense of humour and "bedroom eyes"! Actually I am not too sure how what caught their attention, I am just glad that it did.
I came across a few pick up lines and wondered if they ever worked? I have never used a line for fear of having a drink spilt, being slapped or worse the line actually working!

here are some of them:
Lines that will get you slapped!

• "what's a nice girl-slash-boy like you doing in a bar-slash-dance-slash-brothel like this?" ( Sapphisticate says huh??)


• "I love every bone in your body...especially mine."


• "Given that god is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a shag?"


• "You've got to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams I could only call you 'baby'."


• "Hi, you don't know me, but I dreamt about you last night and thought it only fair to introduce myself."


• "Say, haven't I had sex with you?"


• Your legs are like butter, so spread 'em."
  "Alright big girl"
  "I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?"
  "The word of the day is legs; let's go upstairs and spread the word."
  "F**k me if I'm wrong, but haven't I seen you here before?"


• "Hello, I'm blind. May I get to know you by rythmically kneading your breasts?"

Stuff that might just work:

• " Hi, whats your name?"


• "What's your sign?"
  "Can I buy you a drink?"
  "Would you like to dance?"


• "Do you know wat would look good on you?...Me."


• "My friend thinks you're hot, and if it's any consolation so do I."


• "What's a nice person like you doing in a place like this?"


• Grin shyly and say "you look stunning tonight" and then walk away.


• "Do you know any good opening lines?"


• I like your hat (or other item of clothing)

and love or hate Mr Austin Powers (I love him!) here are some of his lines!

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on her blouse) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs...what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy/(girl) in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Tescos, so I could ride you all day long for 10 pence.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Are those real?

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
F@#k me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm (Ms)Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
Do you wash your knickers in Windolene because I can see myself in them.
I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

which works for you?

My favourite TV shows!

I have decided that I am obsessed with both Queer as Folk and The L Word, far better than real life!

Love these pics!

Dedication to me

The Touch by Rene' Vivien

The trees have kept some lingering sun in their branches, Veiled like a woman, evoking another time, The twilight passes, weeping. My fingers climb, Trembling, provocative, the line of your haunches.

My ingenious fingers wait when they have found The petal flesh beneath the robe they part.
How curious, complex, the touch, this subtle art-- As the dream of fragrance, the miracle of sound.

I follow slowly the graceful contours of your hips, The curves of your shoulders, your neck, your upappeased breasts.
In your white voluptuousness my desire rests, Swooning, refusing itself the kisses of your lips.


about the Poetess: (Wikipoedeia)
Renée Vivien, born Pauline Mary Tarn (June 11, 1877-November 18, 1909) was a British poet who wrote in the French language. She took to heart all the mannerisms of Symbolism, as one of the last poets to claim allegiance to the school. Her compositions include sonnets, hendecasyllabic verse, and prose poetry.
She lived lavishly, in Paris as an open Lesbian - she had affairs with the American Heiress Natalie Clifford Barney, Baroness Hélène de Zuylen at the same time shared a passionate correspondance with Kérimé Turkhan Pasha, both women ended the affair at approximately the same time, this drove the poetess to drugs, alcohol and sadomasochistic fantasties which she decided to indulge. Mysterious sexual escapades would leave her without rest for days. She would entertain guests with champagne dinner parties, only to abandon them when summoned by a demanding lover. Plunged into a suicidal depression, she refused to take proper nourishment, a factor that would eventually contribute to her death.
She died in 1909 at the tender age of 32 - cause of death alcoholism, drug abuse and anorexia nervosa.

sad dont you think? beautiful poetry...but as far as I am concerned her cause of death and after reading about the her life situations leading up to her death, having had some heartache in my life, this is a story that I have heard so many times and the lesbian life complete with its heartache, heartbreak, obsessions, suicidal depression, drug abuse, alcoholism and eating disorders is no different to that experienced in the new millenium!

Music was my first love....

Music has always been an influence in my life and will always be, I decided to make a list of my top favourite artists of all time, lesbian and not. In face I may even include a few good men! (my list is not in order of favourites)

1. Joan Armatrading: The weakness in me
2. Melissa Etheridge: I want to come over
3. I will survive: Gloria Gaynor
4. Insomnia: Faithless
5. Indigo Girls: Closer to Fine
6. Cyndi Lauper: Girls just want to have fun
7. Tatu: All the things she said
8. Sophie B Hawkins: Damn I wish I was your lover
9. K.d. Lang: Constant Craving
10. U2: Desire
11. Tori Amos: Cornflake girl
12. Joan Jett & the blackhearts: Crimson and Clover
13. Tracy Chapman: Fast car
14. They say its gonna rain: Hazel Dean
15. Kelly Clarkson: Since you've been gone
16. Celine Dion: Im alive
17. The cure: Lullaby
18. Nina Simone: my baby just cares for me
19. Sarah Mchlalan: Fallen
20. Bob Marley: Could you be loved
21. The Police: Every little thing she does is magic
22. Aretha Franklin: Respect
23. Tina Turner: River deep, mountain high
24. Pat Benatar: love is a battlefield
25. Cheryl Crow: first cut is the deepest
26. Alanis Morissette: You oughta know
27. Kate Bush: Running up that hill
28. Sade: By your side
29. Sinéad O'Connor: Nothing compares to U
30. Chrissie Hynde & the pretenders: Dont get me wrong
31. Madonna: Sorry
32.Annie Lennox: Little Bird
33. The B-52's: Love Shack
34. Diana Ross: Dance little lady dance
35. Wilson Phillips: Hold on
36. Pet Shop Boys: Its a sin
37. Evanescence: Bring me back to life
38. PJ Harvey: ??
39. Norah Jones: Come away with me
40. Dido: Life for rent
41. The Cranberries: Dreams
42. Nelly Futado: Maneater
42. Avril Lavigne: Girlfriend
43. Rihanna: Please dont stop the music
44. Tegan & Sara: so jealous
45. Amy Whinehouse: Rehab
46. Enya: Orinoco Flow
48. The Cardigans: lovefool
49. Christina Aguilera: Candyman
50. KT Tunstall: Suddenly I see
51. Gwen Stefani: Hey baby
52. Janice Joplin: Piece of my heart
53. Shakira: Hips dont lie
54. Natalie Imbrulia: Wrong Impression
55. Jewel: Hands
56. Morcheeba: Rome wasnt built in a day
57. Alicia Keys: I keep on fallin
58. Jem: They
59. Britney Spears: Gimme More
60. Kylie Minogue: Red Blooded Woman
61. Ella Fitzgereld: Summertime
62. Blondie: Heart of Glass
63. Susanne Vega: Tom's Diner
64. Diana Krall: Fly me to the moon
65. P!nk: Get the party started
66. Joss Stone: you had me
67. Joni Mitchell: Big Yellow Taxi
68. Michelle Branch: Goodbye to you
69. The Corrs: Radio
70. Beyonce: Naughty girl
71. Peaches: fuck the pain away
72. Beth Orton: stolen car

I need thirty more to complete!!!!!

lesbianism, feminisim and lesbianists feminists

I believe that there is a lot of confusion with regards to these concepts. Lesbians do not always identify themselves as feminists and feminists do not always identify themselves as lesbians.



In the 1970's according to some resources feminists wore plain white cotton underwear, wore short masculine haircuts and never shaved their legs or underarms, claiming that their looks refelcted their convictions, which were perceived as simply anti-family, anti-marriage, anti-children, and perhaps even anti-religion, not to mention anti-men.
Having their hair dyed, painting their nails, wearing make-up or dressing even slightly feminine meant that men would not take them seriously, would not see them as equals and therefore not gain their respect.
Feminism presented the family as a kind of prison, with a working career on the outside as a kind of liberation.
This did not take into account that for most people a family has always been the meaning of their life, the finding and creation of the closest relatives that a human being can have. Men did not go to work to enjoy the self-fulfillment of work. They went to work to support their families, often at jobs that they positively hated, or at least just tolerated for the sake of the income. Few men were so fortunate as to be doing something fulfilling or interesting that paid the bills at the same time.
While feminists lamented that women often give up years, or all, of their careers in order to have children, even men with hopes of a fulfilling career traditionally have often had to give up those hopes if they suddenly were responsible for a family.
Gloria Steinman according to the resources claims to have stated that a woman could in fact "have it all" a fullfilling career and a family to enjoy the fruits of what her career brought home.

Lesbian feminism is a cultural movement and critical perspective, most popular in the 1970s and early 1980s (primarily in North America and Western Europe) that questions the position of women and homosexuals in society. Some key thinkers and activists are Rita Mae Brown, Adrienne Rich, Audre Lorde, Marilyn Frye, Mary Daly, Sheila Jeffreys and Monique Wittig (although the latter is more commonly associated with the emergence of queer theory).

its a branched off movement from the 70's its key ideas were:

An emphasis on women's love for one another
Separatist organizations
Community and ideas
Idea that lesbianism is about choice and resistance
Idea that the personal is the political
A rejection of hierarchy in the form of role-playing and sadomasochism
A critique of male supremacy which eroticises inequality

Choice and social Constructivism: - lesbianism was a form for resistance to "man-made" institutions while sexual orientation was that of a consious choice to a situation.

Separtism: Contraversial key strategy, very extreme and even included male genocide - this was a small isolated view but did flourish with followers.
lesbian feminists put forward a notion of "tactical separatism" from men, arguing for and investing in things like women's sanctuaries and consciousness-raising groups, but also exploring everyday practices to which women may temporarily retreat or practice solitude from men and masculinity.

Women identified Woman: unlike the "man-hating butch dykes" which seems to stereotype most lesbians by men who cant get to sleep with a lesbian, these woman rejected female masculinity outright, the movement argued that "most forms of masculinity was problematic"

Womyn's culture: (according to Wikipoedia)
"Womyn" along with "wimin", "womin" were terms produced by parts of the lesbian feminist movement to distinguish it from men and masculine (or "phallogocentric") language.
the word 'Woman' is a derivative of the word 'Man' and therefore symbolised oppression by men. This movement discussed the greek goddesses and warrior womyn, the texts were mostly poetic.

Interestingly enough these movements opposed to both BDSM (bondage and sado masochism) and Transgenderism (surgical re-assignment) because they likened it to violence against women, unlike the views of today which is the inrichment of lives and sexual satisfaction of the individual's choice to practice what they want and desire and live the way they want and desire.

in summary, well in my opinion, I have to agree that alot of lesbians wear white underwear (actually these days we wear black underwear) and cut our hair short, but things have changed, lesbians in the new millenium know that they can have it all and although we do have our "butch dykes" who have been brought up by their fathers who grew up in the 40's -50's, with the "all women should be housewives", who dress in bover boots and have army haircuts, there are a great deal with girls that shave under their arms, wear perfume and are proud of being a woman and who loves a woman, cant we just let ourselves be?

"Sapphisticated cars"

Ever wondered what your car says about you? well here is my opinion of the cars that the lesbians drive:

Myself? I drive a very old Citi Golf, its red in coulour has 4 doors, the radio has been ripped out, its a little scratched and bumped, its comfortable to drive once you get a handle on the fact that it has no power steering and no aircon for those very cold winters or those steaming hot summers.

What I think it says about me? well, its red - so its fiery and hot! It has scratches and bumps which gives it character and says that I drive it ALOT, there is no power steering, which means that I have nice arm and hand muscles and the fact that it has non of the new functions seems to fit in with the fact that either I am a) poor and cant afford a new car or b) non-materialistic

Personally I would like to think that I am the latter, truthfully I would love a new car! (a Ferrari preferably! )

This cute little Peugot 206 belongs to my girlfriend! its small, sleek, metallic of colour, the roof can go down, its great for long distance travel, it has great sound, aircon and all the other gadgets of luxury, if I didnt know better when I met her I would have thought she was one of those materialistic "lipstick lesbians", upon knowing her, I cannot see her driving anything else, she is beautiful, stylish, well groomed, yet conservative and practical in her own way - a true match!

Some general cars of choice:

Ford Ranger: its rugged, functional, affordable, in South Africa this is also known as a bakkie - its tough enough for any butch to handle and she will be able to laod all her tools and still have space for her little girlfriend.

Jeep Wrangler: Great for off road travel, hikes, trails, camping but also lets not forget a drive on the beach with the dogs!

I love the caption of this picture! this is for that lesbian that left the husband with kids, cats, dogs, furniture and moved to another city in one day of course, to be with that gorgeous one night stand!

This is the BMW 3 series of course for those Sandton or LA Lipstick lesbian Kugels, complete with designer labels, long painted nails and hairspray so when driving their hair does not change shape or heaven forbid fall out of place.

and the Golf which most sporty, funky, "fast & furious" "Baby Dykes" drive! need I say more?

vampires vs witches

I have to admit I have always had a fascination with the women of the occult and other supernatural beings, in my personal opinion the sexiest women are the witches and the vampires who would have thought that those dark creatures of the night and those women who work their magic with cauldrons and wands, charms and spells were sexy, thanks to the movies and T.V. cults and occults are now being portrayed as cool and sophisticated and hot!

Healthy lifestyles

I have recently began a long journey along the road of a healthy lifestyle, a supposedly life changing existance free of drug, alcohol and nicotine abuse.
why? I guess, because I woke up one morning and felt terrible. I wasnt happy in my body ( I hear you asking yourself -are women ever happy with their bodies?) It wasnt a decision taken at all lightly as I enjoy my occasional get drunk, fall down states of being and smoking up a storm cloud it was a decision to change the way I live, eat and think about myself.

This got me thinking about lesbian/gay culture and the community. Coming out as difficult as it is leads you into the club scene, with it brings the drug scene, the alcohol scene and the nicotine scene. It is quite rare that you get in touch with the health fanatics of our community because at the beginning one doesnt know where they are and asking someone to a club for a drink is far easier than asking them to join you at the gym for a fruit juice and game of squash.

Substance abuse according to psychologists results from not being comfortable with who you are as a person, coming to terms with those first feelings of sexuality is a difficult and is not a comfortable experience and from personal experience you need to be a very strong person to admit that you do not conform to societal norms.
Alcohol allowed me to hide from me, to hide me from others and what I thought they were thinking about me, to release me from my inibitions, to do things that I dont normally do and then blame it on the alcohol. It allowed me to be comfortable in places I would normally feel like a wallflower and out.
Smoking allows you to make friends while asking for a light and striking up a conversation.

So I havent quite smoking yet, but my week of detox is finally over and I hope to have more energy to go back to the gym.

It has taken me almost 9 years to feel comfortable with myself as a person and as a lesbian, now I am working towards being comfortable in my body again.

Quotes and Sayings....

I love famous quotes from movies and poets and here are some that I found quite profound and inspirational which is often needed some days.

From the Movie: Notes on a Scandal - starring Judie Dench

Barbara Covett: People anguish for years with partners who are clearly from another planet. We want so much to believe that we've found our other. It takes courage to recognize the real as opposed to the convenient.

'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?''That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.'I don't much care where --' said Alice.'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.'--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
M.K. Gandhi

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
Dr. Napoleon Hill

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Franklin P. Jones

They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.
William Shakespeare

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is."
- Yogi Berra

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


“Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one.”
Kate Clinton quotes

“I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate.” Rita Mae Brown quotes (American Writer, b.1944)

Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women.”
Rita Mae Brown quotes


..........

Dating games (2004)

Let the games begin....

All I can say that I have been out of the dating game for a while and getting back into it has been very difficult I have gone through evey single emotion one can possibly experience....
Stage 1 - denial: breaking up without someone you love and pretending that it didnt happen and you are living a bad dream..and trying to drink the bad dream away...result: bad hang-over, forgetting where you are half the time, being recognised by the scum that hang out at the bar!2.

Stage 2 - Lonlinesss: The stage where you start sobering up and you realise there is no warm body to cuddle up to and tell them that you love them and you are never getting drunk again in your entire life and cry on their shoulder.Result: well there is no one there to save your ass so you decide that maybe you should start getting back to the dating scene again b/c this drinking alone or with friends just isnt solving the problem

Stage 3 - Anger: This is the stage where you realise that your ex was a total and utter cow that took away your idividuality and stifled your personality because you cant really think of how to act on a first date because you dont know who you are!?Result: You still miss the ex but start to think that this freedom thing and you becoming yourself again aint such a bad idea.

Stage 4 - The Unsureness: This is the stage where you start dating regularly and you meet different people and have to try not compare them to the ex - this is a hard stage because the minute that someone reminds you negetively about your last relationship - guarenteed you going to tell them to get lost.Result: DONT COMPARE AND KEEP DATING!

Stage 5 - Let the Games begin: This is the stage where you find someone attractive and intelligent and now try and catch em to keep them...I like this part b/c it allows you to be strategic and romantic at the same time.Result: Lots of patience required for this stage.

Stage 6 - HAPPINESS: This is the contant state of euphoria that everyone looks for, that state of romance, love, lust, when you find someone special - that ideal feeling before you begin a full blown relationship...the state where you want to rip the persons cloths off when you see them, the state where you are contantly thinking about them, smsing, emailing them...wanting them.Result: MORE happiness and eventually a longer lasting affair of the heart!so let the games begin!
May 2004

7 habits of highly effective relationships....

In my opinion there are 7 basic issues that come up in relationships that can make or break them.
1.Religion: This is a prime issue its not about organised religion - ie Chritianity Vs. Judaism its about the basic belief or non-belief in G-d. Having the same belief system even if its spirituality or even athesiam. I find that 2 people who have totally different belief systems tend to clash because you cant share or have a discussion and it usually ends up in an arguement.
2. Sex: We all like sex? but some of us have higher drives than others....We also tend to like different things for example you like sado masochism and your lover likes it gentle and slow and romantic, or you want it 5 times a week and your partner only wants it once a week for an hour - THE RELATIONSHIP IS SCREWED ...literally!
3. Family: This is a nice one - for instance you are not very close to your family and they dont live near you in fact they live in the next city. Your lover / partner is close to their family and wants to see them alot and want you to go with visit them too. This creates a problem particularly if you are gay and your family has no interest in your life or your lover!
4. Finance: This difference comes in to play when there is a difference between the amounts that you earn - this has to be negotiated. Will it be on equal footing where both people contribute or will one enevitably be dependant on the other?
5. Dreams: Working towards goals and dreams together and having your lover / partner not sharing this or at least getting excited about them. Do we meet in the middle or would we prefer that your partner joins you and shares them with you?
6. Children: When one person doesnt want kids and the other does. Not every person wants little versions of themselves or can afford to have them. With straight people mistakes happen with gay people we have to plan very carefully according to the status of pockets and relationships.
7. Hobbies and Interests: This is a minor difference - but I would like to share at least some interests with my lover if not all of them so that we can do stuff together. The things that are different I would at least like to learn about. for example - you enjoy watching comedies and laugh at Austin Powers and they are into intense murder mysteries and look at you strangley and half bored when you are watching your movies.
For me? I enjoy someone that JUST GETS ME

some after thoughts....

Just in case some soon to be readers think that my writing is puritanical and boring, I do happen to be romantic and know what I as a person need and want in my life, here a blog I wrote in about 2004.

Relationships....?
I went out with a 2 friends of mine last night and we got to discussing relationships....what is it that we want from a partner / lover etc...What is it that I want? well I thought I knew what I want but it seems to change everytime I break up with someone....so I have sort of narrowed it down to a few things:
1. Intelligence
2. Maturity
3. confidence
4. Affectionate
5. Passionate
6. considerate
7. some1 who knows when to take space and gives space
8. some1 who knows when to give support
9. some1 who completely and utterly adores me
10. sum1 who doesnt judge me
11. a sense of humour
12. mutual respect
13. honesty
14. gentle
15. Someone sexual or some1 that can at least keep up!

well thats as much as I can think of today...what I dont want is to be b someones yo yo - or their part time lover or their other half when they are in the mood! I am not a cat! I am a human - you know animal with feelings!I am a hot blooded women that has needs!

Yes, I am a romantic, except for my somewhat cynical moments and I do love receiving tokens of affection in any shape or form.

V DAY!

Valentines Day , a day full of roses, wine, dine, chocolates, fluffy teddy bears and love making well at least for some people. For others I suppose its dinner with friends or perhaps dinner by themselves, but it is usually a day of romantic celebration.

my question is as a lesbian / gay person why do we celebrate a this "heterosexual" holiday? Should gay people have a holiday or a day where they can celebrate their romantic love for their lovers / partners other than Valentines day?



The origins of Valentines day differ some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.
Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.



According to history Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.
The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.


Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.
The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feaSt. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.



Getting to my point and I know this sounds like I am the ultimate feminist, but why should I celebrate my love for my lover on a day dedicated to hetrosexual marriege and a day where some man sacrificed himself for a his religious cause.
and what if I havent dedicated my life or I dont follow an organised religion, is this day still a day of romantic celebration for me?

I have decided that Valentines day should not be the only day or romantic celebration and I dont want to conform to the norm of flowers, chocolates and fluffies.

How about one day a week where you and your loved one dedicate to romantic love?
or better yet the LGBTI community should have a vote and form our own "Valentines Day" or for arguements sake lets call it " Love your lover or other day".

I would love to know some opinions on this one!

Boobs, Booze and Body Shots..

I was reading an article the other day about lesbian parties, the article likened lesbian parties to those of “American frat house parties” , those wild drunken parties where a copious amount of alcohol is poured down a person’s throat or the active participation of a ritual called “body shots” is performed.

According to the online dictionaries, the definition of a “body Shot” is:
body shot
A body shot is a sexual way of doing shots of tequila. Your lime is held in your partner's mouth and the salt put on a body part (stomach, neck, breasts, etc) You lick the salt off of them, take your shot and then eat the lime out of their mouth.
body shot
Body or belly shots can break the ice quite quickly in a bar or at a party. The most common shot is tequila because this involves licking some salt off the holder of the shot first and then taking the lime wedge from this persons mouth afterwards. Any shot will do, however. The key to this type of shot is that there are two consenting adults involved.
Female places shot between her breasts or lies on the bar and places it in her navel.

Body shot
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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A body shot is a shot of alcohol (such as tequila) that is consumed off a person's body, usually from erogenous zones such as the navel or the breasts.
Rum cream is also considered an ideal liquor for body shots. Rum cream, a Jamaican original, has the consistency of Bailey's Irish Cream, therefore lingering in the erogenous areas longer before "running south," enabling a longer licking time.
In one version of the body shot, the person taking the shot holds a shot glass of tequila in one hand, while the person giving the shot holds a wedge of lime (or lemon) in his or her mouth. The person taking the shot then licks a body part of his or her choosing on the person giving the shot, sprinkles salt on that body part, and then licks the salt off of the body part. He or she then downs the tequila and then takes the citrus wedge out of the subject's mouth using only his or her mouth.
Which brings me to my next opinions and observation.
Body shots when you are single and want to “get it on” with someone really cute at a party is a good idea. It breaks the ice. But what happens when you are at a party with a few friends and you or your partner want to participate. Do you draw the line? Do you discuss rules? Do you “go with the flow” , Is it a turn on, is it fun, is it a matter of peer pressure or do you leave your relationship open for all to participate in something that should be and can be quite intimate?


I went to a party recently and because I was quite sober decided to sit down and watch the going’s on as a voyeur.

As a voyeur I found it extremely erotic, exciting and a turn-on, but as someone in a “closed” relationship as opposed to an “open relationship” I would not feel comfortable watching my partner lying on that bar counter or table like a slab of meat while a bunch of drunk, horny lecherous lesbians lick tequila, lime and sugar off her neck, belly button and cleavage or any other erogenous zone that should be reserved for times of intimacy with me.
I watched as people whose partners, who usually don’t even allow an occasional threesomes, let the partner go out alone or allow someone else to flirt with them, participate in this seemingly ‘innocent’ game with friends.

I realize that some people call this jealousy, insecurity or perhaps I am somewhat of a “kill joy” and old fashioned to believe in some kind of sanctity and trust between partners, and that there should be some kind of boundaries among friends. I do also realize that there are different rules for different relationships depending on people you are with. This is only my personal opinion and I know there are a lot of womyn out there who use this as foreplay.

To bring you back to my initial thoughts on whether lesbian parties are like American frat house parties, yes they are very similar and it is your choice as to what you want out of these parties and what you get out of these parties they are truly not for the feint hearted, or the judge mental types.

Where do lesbians meet other lesbians?

A question on most of our lips whether gay, straight, bi, single or a couple.

Where do you meet people to make friends or meet new potential lovers.

Here are a few places I have picked up along the way:

For the anti clubbing, anti drugs, smoking and other habits that some of us enjoy:

1. Sports events or start a sport you enjoy, Gyms are good but its mostly a gay male pick up place and people normally like gyming alone listening to an ipod, a better idea would be to join an aerobics class or a team sport for example cricket, soccer, rugby or a martial art. Whether you join in or simply go watch on the sidelines.

2. Hiking, camping, mountain biking, fishing, abseiling and some extreme sports are also a definate bet perhaps do an internet search for some lesbian clubs or get togethers of this nature.

3. Religious / Esoteric - Spiritual centres, one can always find out which centres accept and welcome lesbians.

4. Political organisations, fighting for yours and others rights, finding that special person with as much passion as you have.

5. Other clubs such as book clubs, or perhaps create your own movement, club or party.

General places that involve the bad / fun habbits depending on your perspective:

1. Night Clubs / pubs / bars - perhaps for that perfect 1 night stand.

2. The once a month party - which most cities usually advertise

other:

1. The internet - sites like datingbuzz.co.za ; q.co.za; facebook.com and many many more - there are rules to dating and meeting people off a site so do be careful and be aware.

2. Friends or friends of ex's or ex's of friends etc - even straight friends are a wonderful resource and love trying to match us lesbians up.

3. Owning a cute dog is also a plus and taking them for a walk in the park or for training, should catch you at least some attention.

Whatever you choose, have fun, relax and just be yourself - Ms Right or Ms Right Now should pop into your life when you least expect it!

The Flag and its origins!

What is a flag?
Ans: it is A piece of cloth, usually rectangular, of distinctive color and design, used as a symbol, standard, signal, or emblem.

The Rainbow Flag
The Rainbow Flag is the most popular gay symbol. It was created by the artist Gilbert Baker of San Francisco. In fact, the rainbow was used to symbolize sexuality and gender many times. One can meet it represented in African, Greek and American cultures. Later it was used by political parties, as a symbol of freedom. Jesse Jacksons Rainbow Coalition is a glare example of this. Gilbert Baker understood the need of a symbol, which would unite all the gays. For the first time the rainbow flag was used as homosexual symbol in the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade.
Every color, Gilbert Baker has chosen, symbolizes different aspects of homosexual life.-
Hot pink means sexuality -
Red - life-
Orange symbolizes healing -
Yellow - the sun-
Green - nature -
Blue - art -
Indigo means harmony -
Violet - spirit

The symbolism was borrowed from other freedom movements such as hippie and black civil rights movement. The popularity of the flag boosted very fast. The purpose to use it yearly at the Parades was achieved. To produce it in a big quantity Baker took it to San Francisco Flag Company. But several colors were commercially not available and were replaced by the other colors. The Rainbow flag became popular all over the world. Now it is easily recognized and widespread. After the 1979 Pride Parade it was recognized not only by common people, but as well by the officials. The existence of such a flag was officially registered by the International Congress of Flag Makers.

My personal view, in some ways it gives me a sense of pride on the other hand is there any reason why I should require a flag to represent the fact that I sleep with the same sex?

what to wear!

T-shirts that will get attention!

This is a real cool "hoodie"

hats hats and more hats!

Black biker hat can also be used for those S & M sessions

The tie is a must!

Ellen Degeneress - to the left - remember what looks good on a lesbian Celebrity may not look good on you - see those white takkies!

Dress up for the lesbian
*notice the white vest,

camo pants, boots

and black hoodie.