Here are some weird and wonderful gay / lesbian terms that you may or may not have heard about:
Hanky code?
The hanky code is a signaling system used by gay men and members of the fetish and BDSM communities to indicate sexual preference. Signals in the hanky code are conveyed by wearing a handkerchief of a specific color or pattern in either the right or left back pocket, conveying preference to anyone in the vicinity who is familiar with the concept of the hanky code. While wearing a hanky, someone is said to be “flagging,” and the hanky code is known as flagging, the bandanna code, or the handkerchief code.
Some people have suggested that the basics of the hanky code may go as far back to the 1800s, when men in isolated regions of the American West would wear red handkerchiefs to indicate that they were willing to take a woman's role in a dance. However, this is probably apocryphal, and has never been verified. More solidly, the seeds for the hanky code appear to have been sown in the 1970s, when gay men first started wearing handkerchiefs according to guidelines published in The Village Voice, a newspaper in New York City.
There are a number of advantages to the hanky code which explain why it endures to this day. In the 1970s, when the gay community was less outspoken, the hanky code allowed gay men to communicate with each other without attracting attention, and allowed men to more easily scope out potential dates. In communities where the hanky code was prevalent, men knew that pursuing men who weren't flagging could be risky, and they could seek out partners on the basis of preference by checking their back pockets.
This code also turned out to be handy in crowded environments like gay bars, where the noise and crowd could make it hard to establish a connection with someone. As the hanky code spread in the gay community, it began to be picked up more generally in the fetish and BDSM communities, and complex permutations of colors, patterns, and placements began to proliferate.
As a general rule, someone who flags in the left pocket indicates that he or she is a top, while someone who flags in the right pocket is a bottom. Bottoms prefer to participate as recipients in sexual and fetish encounters, while tops prefer just the opposite.
Knowing about the hanky code can be useful if you are traveling to an area with a large queer or fetish-oriented population, as you might unwittingly send out a signal if you leave a handkerchief in your back pocket. However, many people rely on other social cues beyond the hanky code; if you happen to have, for example, a gray handkerchief in your right pocket while innocently riding the subway, you are unlikely to be ravaged by eager bondage tops, although someone might approach with a courteous introduction.
Gay Panic?
Gay panic is a rarely used criminal defense in which the defendant claims that he or she was so offended or upset at the revelation that the victim was homosexual that a state of temporary insanity occurred. One of the most high profile cases in which the gay panic defense was used involved Matthew Shepard, a University of Wyoming student who was viciously murdered in 1998 because of his sexual orientation.
According to the logic behind this defense, the perpetrator of a crime is thrown into a state of intense confusion and upset when the sexual orientation or gender of the victim is revealed. This state made the defendant temporarily incapable of distinguishing between right and wrong, thereby leading to an assault or murder as the defendant “instinctively” struck out at the victim. Gay panic could occur as a result of sexual advances, argue lawyers who use this defense, or it might occur when a transgender individual is outed, as was the case with Gwen Araujo, a transwoman who was murdered in 2002.
This defense is designed to reduce the culpability of the defendant in the eyes of the jury, thereby generating a reduced sentence. Defendants who use the gay panic defense are rarely absolved altogether, but the gay panic may be regarded as a mitigating circumstance which justifies a reduction of penalties.
Critics of this defense argue that because homosexuality is growing much more accepted in society, the likelihood of totally panicking at the revelation of someone's sexual orientation is unlikely. Furthermore, the gay panic defense has been used in cases where premeditation was involved, suggesting that the defendant had time to cool down and consider the situation, and he or she decided to proceed with the crime anyway.
Opponents to the gay panic defense would like to see cases like these prosecuted as hate crimes, in addition to being treated as assault or murder cases. They suggest that people who assault people on the basis of their sexual or gender orientation are fully aware of what they are doing, and while they may proceed with such assaults because of violent emotions, they are not in a state of temporary insanity. Prosecutors in several regions around the world have banded together to fight the gay panic defense, arguing that they will crack down on defense teams who attempt to use it.
Bug Party:
Bug parties are private functions, sometimes with multiple participants, where HIV positive men (at these parties called gift givers) and HIV negative men (bug chasers) willingly have unprotected sex. This often leads to the infection of the HIV negative person.
Gift Giver: An HIV positive gay man who deliberately transmits the virus, often times to bug chasers, or those willing to contract it.
Drag Top:
A drag queen that is sexually a top. Many assume drag queens are femme and therefore do not enjoy dominant sexual roles. Drag tops break this myth.
Fag Stag: A straight man drawn to the company of gay men, as aposed to Fag Hag A straight woman drawn to the company of gay men.
Party and Play:
Individual or group sex while using drugs or alcohol.
Bear:
A gay man that has a lot of body and/or facial hair. Bears are often considered to have "cuddly" bodies.
I was trying think what terms lesbians use, I have some of my own:
"LetPet" is a straight man that hangs around with lesbians!
I need to think of more!
