Work.

I have resigned from my boring help desk job and move forward to a wonderful new career...I have been in an openly gay friendly company where the 10% of the gay/lesbian people in South Africa work for this company, the CEO when interviewing says to the candidates that if they have a problem with gay people then the company is not the place for them.

I have really enjoyed my company from this aspect, being an out lesbian it was really great being able to be myself without that fear of "what if someone finds out!"

As a parting gift I have awarded Mr Men and Little Ms Characters to my company and team.

Mr. "I'm working from home" A.K.A Mr. “Boss” - he is really on the golf course or in his garden.

Mr. "Nice Guy" - nice because the HR person told him to be.

Little Ms "Work-a-holic" - she doesn't have a life and too afraid to get one.

Mr. "Cool" A.K.A Mr. "Debt" he has a new hairstyle each week and drives buys the things he doesn’t need with the money he doesn’t have.

Little Miss "Label” – she is closely related to Mr. “Debt” you will also see her in designer wear, new hairstyles and new shoes all bought on credit of course.

Little Miss “Gossip” – this needs no explanation.

Mr. “Gossip” – hangs out with Little Miss “Gossip” and knows a lot more information than she does.

Little Miss “Kiss Ass” A.K.A Little Miss “Company Bicycle” – she literally kisses ass and as much of it as possible, her close friend is Mr. “I promise- you- a- promotion- if –you- blow –me”.

Mr. “Give-me-a-hug” A.K.A Mr. “Sexual Harasser” – who pretends to just need a hug but assures you that you are not his type and he is married with 3.5 kids.

Little Miss “Perfect” A.K.A Little Miss “Megalomaniac” – her close friend is Little
Miss “Kiss Ass” – usually in a management position never wants to delegate work for fear of having it done better than her.

Mr. “Lazy” – he hangs around the coffee machine and spends time with Mr. “Stupid”, he is always late and loves sending other people email about not doing his tasks or gets Mr. “Stupid” to complete them for him.

Mr.” Politician” A.K.A Mr. “Backstabber” – he hangs around the senior manager's offices, plays golf and has lunches in order for him to get the top job whilst not having to work for it.

Little Miss “Helpful” A.K.A Little Miss “Can’t say NO”– the most wonderful person in the office, also the most used and abused.

Little Miss “Office Furniture” – she has been at the company for years , she has been doing the same thing for years and is not about to leave until she dies in her chair.

Mr. “Hypochondriac “ – he spends most of his day telling everyone about his aches and pains and usually they are worse than yours!

Little Miss and Mr. “Party Animals” – they spend their time drinking and getting stoned. They go to company parties just for the free drinks and food.

Mr. “Loud” – what is that old saying about empty vessels?

Little Miss “Silent” – she daydreams about bring an AK47 to the office and killing them all.

Mr. “Office Clown” A.K.A Mr. “Attention Seeker” – no explanation, tends to be ignored by the rest of the company, people don’t laugh with him they laugh at him.

Little Miss “Honest and Reliable” and Mr. “Honest and Reliable – these are very sought after, prehistoric creatures and a company would be honoured to have one of these.

I am going to miss them all.

So Im Engayged!

Well I proposed to my girlfriend, my lover, my best friend, my angel on bended knee with poem and rose in hand!

I have such feelings of elation and love knowing that she wants to spend the rest of her life listening to me snore.

She wants to spend the rest of her life loving me and I am going to spend the rest of my life loving her.

I have not stopped smiling since she said yes, I have been on a "love" high for the last month!

SA is one of 7 countries in the world where gay / lesbian marriage is legal and where we have rights. I am so thankful that I can share my love for my same-sex partner, there are so many people who have died for their beliefs and this cause.

people ask how does one know when to take that next step, my personal answer to myself was when my brain, heart and loins were all on the same page about the same person that's when I knew it was time.

I look forward to many happy moments with my wife to be and hope we can live to the age where we will look cool in purple hats!

Wow what a year! 2009

This year has been quit an eye opener for me in terms of relationships, friendships, career, family and traveling.

My highlights for this year have been:

1. Going to London, Paris and Amsterdam - it has really given me itchy feet to do some much more of it.

2. Getting to know and trust my partner more, loving everything about her, opening myself up just a little more ( I highly recommend this!) to know that long term relationships can be fulfilling.

3. Getting to know my cousins again, they have been living in England for years and I never see them.
Seeing my aunt and re-connecting with her, I am so glad to have a family member in my life who just knows me.

4. Achieving in a course, learning that I can learn, truly getting back into the studying after a long while.

5. The wool being pulled from my eyes, seeing things clearly in terms of my work and what I want from my career, realising that people can be such users, can hurt, can undermine and can put down how strong I have become? I realised that I too need to be appreciated and that I too matter!

6.Being able to maintain my weight somewhat as a person who battles with the bulge.

7.Creating new friendships and ridding myself of the friends that do not contribute positively to my life.

8.Learning how to stretch my money further this year with the recession.

9.Learning that when things get tough not to throw in the towel. Just keep going.

10.Learning that in your 30's perspective seems to come into focus.

Lets say goodbye to 2009, hoping that 2010 will be far better and more goals reached, let 2010 be peaceful, prosperous, healthy and loving!

Don't you just love Dilbert Quotes!

Boredom and no enthusiasm for work does wonders for internet searches, found these great quotes from "Dilbert"

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
8. My reality cheque bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.

16. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
25. Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
26. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
27. Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.
28. If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you.
29. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
30. When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane.
"Lately the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labour."
- Dilbert
31. "You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
Short Funny Quote by, Dilbert.
32. “As you gain experience, you’ll realise that all logical questions are considered insubordination.” – Dilbert advises Asok the Intern
33. “There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.” – Dilbert
3.4 “Frankly I’m insulted that you asked me out. It means you think we’re about the same level of attractiveness.” – Dilbert’s date
35. “It looks like I’ll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.” – Dilbert
36. “Why aren’t you signed up for the 401K? I’d never be able to run that far.” – Dilbert
37. “When you grow up you’ll be put in a container called a cubicle. The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy. Luckily you’ll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear.” – Dilbert

Do we have "Pride"

This weekend was the Gay/Lesbian etc Pride Parade in Johannesburg, South Africa. I attended as I always do every year and have been for the last 9 years.
This year was different, I have gotten to a stage in my life where I have been questioning everything from religious/ spiritual views to the cloths that I wear.

This year I asked myself, Why do we attend Pride? is there a reason for us to still be seen to still show a presense?

Personally my answer is YES! although South Africa has a democratic and tolerant constitution, we still need to show our presence as it is constantly threatened. It seems that people just don't want to leave us gay/lesbian people be.

We march for people in countries who can't march, people who cant kiss their lovers or show affection to someone they love in public without experiencing the bigotry, wrath or even a death sentence.

We march as a reminder that our rights can be taken away from us at anytime a government or state decides to.

We march in memory of those lost in violence because they were different and did'nt want to conform.

We march in solidarity with our family who became our "family" when some of our own family rejected us for wanting to live a life true to what we deserve.

We march because as a whole this is still a homophobic society and world that we live in that fear difference and non-conformity. Where minorities are still beaten and killed for no reason.

We march because the rest of the world see's the rainbow flag as a reminder of sin and immorality that ruins lives and devastates families.

We march for THE FREEDOM TO LOVE WHO WANT TO LOVE!

I personally feel that some of the community seems to forget why we march and why we celebrate and it saddens me.

Alcohol and why do we drink so much of it?

Research provided me with some information of this drug:

Method of use:
Liquid which is swallowed

Scientific / Trade or Slang Name
Ethanol, Ethyl Alcohol, Booze, alcohol brand names, beers, wines, spirits, liqueurs.

Do you know the short term effects of Alcohol?
Effects may last several hours. Intensity and speed of onset increased if alcohol is concentrated and stomach empty. Half a pint of beer, a glass of wine and a single whiskey contain the same amount of alcohol. Known to cause clumsiness and impaired judgment.

And the long term effects?
Heavy drinking is associated with increased risk of strokes, liver disease, high blood pressure, infertility, diseases of the nervous system and strong physical dependence. Withdrawal after very heavy use can involve delirium which can be fatal.

How long does it stays in your system?
Lasts in your system approximately one hour per unit consumed. There are approximately 2 Units in a regular Pint of Beer.

Here is an interesting fact about alcohol:
People who regularly drink alcohol are three times as likely to die from injury as are non-drinkers and former drinkers of alcohol, according to new research from the Center for Injury Research and Policy at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.
The Hopkins researchers examined the relationship between usual drinking behavior and the major categories of injury: motor vehicle injuries; unintentional falls, fire deaths, drowning and poisoning; suicide by poisoning, firearm and hanging, strangulation or suffocation; firearm-related homicide; and other homicide.

So why do we as a community drink so much knowing the full effects of this drug?
Here are my reasons:

Impaired judgement: which can sometimes be a good thing, I mean how else are we meant to get lucky?

Loss of inihibitions: which is also not a bad thing, really except when you wake up with the “cayote ugly feeling” of the girl lying next to you or the several girls lying next to you. Drinking does have the effect for reducing that initial shyness of introducing yourself.

The ability to make new friends: ever gone to a party realising that you know absolutely noone? Then people start drinking and all of a sudden you are surrounded by new best friends! How wonderful especially if you are an introvert.

The “truth” drug: I know a lot of girls, once they start drinking, they start talking and they don’t stop, lucky for some I am a loyal friend and can keep secrets, but for the rest of these women, information can sometimes fall into the wrong hands.

To take the “edge” off, because we enjoy it?: This is the main reason that we drink, gay people just love a good party! We love our dinner parties! We love our braai’s and get togethers where we relax with our friends, what is a party without drinking people interesting, or exciting or cute?

My point is, drink if you want to, I do. Have a good time, just take care of yourself and the people you care about and that care about you!
AND JUST REMEMBER EXCESS ALCOHOL LEADS TO THOSE NASTY HANGOVERS THAT SEEM TO LAST FOREVER AND I HAVENT FOUND A DECENT CURE YET!

SHE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! - HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I watched the movie “He’s is just not that into you” and I began wondering, what are the signs for the girls? What are lesbian signals for “She is just not that into you”!
Here are a few of my own:
“She likes you, as a friend”
do we look like we date for our health? If we wanted more friends we would not have asked her out, how many times have you heard the words “lets just be FRIENDS”?

“She tries to set you up with another woman”
This is to make sure that you don’t hit on her or alternatively it didn’t occur to her to want to date you! By the way this still puts you in the “friend” category.

“she doesn’t laugh at your jokes”
Either she doesn’t find your sense of humour funny or perhaps she doesn’t like you enough to pretend that your humour is funny!

“She cancels plans or is vague about them”
If she really wanted to see you she would see you, she would cancel her other plans. The vagueness implies that perhaps she is waiting for something, sorry, better to come up.

“you are always the one calling her, she is never the one calling you, she never returns emails or text messages or voicemails”
She isn’t that into you, woman love communication especially telephones! (well generally we do) its obvious that keeping in touch with you or getting together with you is not that important, how many times has this girl said that she forgot, or that she was busy and you bump into her on the night she told you she was busy?
Here is a rule, if she doesn’t return your first call she might be playing hard to get, call her a second time if she doesn’t return that call she is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

“Body language”
If the girl doesn’t make eye contact for more than 3 seconds, or perhaps moves closer to your proximity or makes an excuse to touch you, either she is shy or she JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! especially if you try move closer to speak and she makes excuses, talks to other people moves away or uses her friends as barriers to protect her from you.

“ I am not ready for a relationship”
Usually means “ I am really don’t do relationships” “I am still getting over my ex” or very often it means “ I DON’T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU!”
“She mentions other girls or girls she is attracted to”
And none of these girls are you or remotely resemble what you look like. Could mean that are really not her type.

“She is a complete flirt”
Constantly flirting with other women in front of you is just rude even if you are just a date. It’s shows a lack of respect for you! she obviously doesn’t think that you are worth flirting with. Move on girl!

“She keeps her place private”
some women are more private than others. She might have a strong sense of personal space and needs more time before allowing you alone in her apartment. On the other hand, if you've been dating for a year or two and she still won't let you stay there alone, I'd say she's hiding something.

“she hangs around with her ex more than she hangs around with you”
Yes, I know that some girls befriend their exes and we all have best friends but when you are dating someone that you are really into, the honeymoon period does set in and friends do take a back seat.

These are generalizations, my advice would be to listen to your gut! And have some self love, there are plenty women out there who are just waiting for that right girl to walk into their lives who will love you and cherish you just as you are!