I have recently began a long journey along the road of a healthy lifestyle, a supposedly life changing existance free of drug, alcohol and nicotine abuse.
why? I guess, because I woke up one morning and felt terrible. I wasnt happy in my body ( I hear you asking yourself -are women ever happy with their bodies?) It wasnt a decision taken at all lightly as I enjoy my occasional get drunk, fall down states of being and smoking up a storm cloud it was a decision to change the way I live, eat and think about myself.
This got me thinking about lesbian/gay culture and the community. Coming out as difficult as it is leads you into the club scene, with it brings the drug scene, the alcohol scene and the nicotine scene. It is quite rare that you get in touch with the health fanatics of our community because at the beginning one doesnt know where they are and asking someone to a club for a drink is far easier than asking them to join you at the gym for a fruit juice and game of squash.
Substance abuse according to psychologists results from not being comfortable with who you are as a person, coming to terms with those first feelings of sexuality is a difficult and is not a comfortable experience and from personal experience you need to be a very strong person to admit that you do not conform to societal norms.
Alcohol allowed me to hide from me, to hide me from others and what I thought they were thinking about me, to release me from my inibitions, to do things that I dont normally do and then blame it on the alcohol. It allowed me to be comfortable in places I would normally feel like a wallflower and out.
Smoking allows you to make friends while asking for a light and striking up a conversation.
So I havent quite smoking yet, but my week of detox is finally over and I hope to have more energy to go back to the gym.
It has taken me almost 9 years to feel comfortable with myself as a person and as a lesbian, now I am working towards being comfortable in my body again.
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6 comments:
yahoo,thanx for visiting my blog. always love to hear from you. now that i have found yours i will be back to see how your doing.
good for you with the health kick, keep on kicking! hugs.
Bravo for your new commitment to yourself! I too started a healthy living challenge this year. Jan. 12, 2008. For me it was healthy eating and exercise, as I'd already given up alcohol many, many years ago. Never smoked...cigarettes. So now am clean of all drugs/alcohol. I'm a bit older than you are.
(Thirty four years your senior).
My changes include having diligently cut out all refined sugars, most carbs, am eating protein, raw and cooked veggies, fresh fruit, nuts, fish, poltry, very little meat (some occasional pork, lamb); and have dumped nine pounds so far and my body is starting to look less fat! Still a ways to go but feel so much more energized. Small portions is a key for me too.No eating after dinner.
I am walking at least 30 minutes on a treadmill at home, doing 200 crunches daily, walking at noontime at work too (yesterday I did one hour at noon after the 30 minutes in the morning! And yes, I am bragging!) I feel great.
I also started a blog about this called Positive Eating and Exerising if you care to join in the chat there.
You can get there through my other blog: http://lynn-nonameblog.blogspot.com/.
Now I will go on to read more on your blog. Good luck and hang in there. This can be done, all of it.
What's wrong with asking for a game of squash at the gym?
Hi,
Thank you for such positive response to my ramblings :-)
Love the quilts lynn - gorgeous!!
Sapphistication
Ps your blog doesnt allow me to post comments - wierd! :(
Unfortunately, the gay club scene is renowned for its superficiality... It'll all about the packaging, so much so that it makes me think of those little gift boxes one receives at least once a year.
You know the ones I'm talking about. "Little Box of Peace"... "Little Box of Happiness"... "Little Box of Buff Boys at the Club"...
They have notes attached, saying how one may never open them. And that's simply because, in the real world, they're empty.
mr bracknell, I do believe you are slightly cynical! ;-)
I don't mean to sound cynical. I'm merely synthesizing personal experiences with those of my friends.
However, I feel that you can show the little parcels something. That's it's possible to be both gorgeous AND a decent human being!
mwah!
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