He told me he was done parenting, he told me I have hurt him, he told me to get over myself that he will not be attending my wedding, he told me that I have shattered his dreams, he told me that he cant accept me marrying a woman and not a man, he told me, he told me he told me….
I was told me he will come around eventually, I was told to do the right thing, I was told me that he will get used to the idea, I was told that he will feel guilty and talk to me about it again. I was told, I was told, I was told....
My dad, my dearest daddy, who man I have admired, respected, put on a pedestal, looked up to, whose wings I have wanted to protect me from the world, whose advice I have always taken and whom I love so much….
Has disappointed me and hurt me, he keeps saying how I am so much like him.
Truth is…I am not like him as much as I thought I was or even as much as he thought I was. He doesnt know me anymore.
I am open minded, I accept people for who they are even those that anger and disappoint me. I love unconditionally. I don’t sweep things under the carpet thinking that they will disappear, I don’t have high expectations of people anymore and I give second chances. I try and listen and reserve my judgement untill I have heard both sides.
I took my dad out for lunch today, even though I haven’t spoken to him or my mother for nearly a month. I put my anger and hurt and disappointment aside to just love my dad because he is going through a rough time, because I thought that he needed some support.
Dad, why cant you see what I have become? How I have grown and matured into the woman I am, how you have helped me do that? How proud you should be of me? How hurt I am that you are not going to celebrate my special day with me? How you were the one that showed me that all people are to be respected, how to always be positive when things dont go my way.
Werent you the one that told me how life is like a clean, undriven sheet of snow, becareful how you mark it because every mark will show?
Why cant you just open your eyes?
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