Strange questions asked to lesbians/gay people!

In the last couple of years since coming out the closet, I have been asked some of the weirdest questions by heterosexual people, some have been ignorant, some have been intelligent, some have been curious and some have been darn right rude!
I am not sure why people ask such strange questions, we dont examine the lives of heterosexual people! There are times where I feel like a mouse in a scientific lab.

Do you have a secret handshake?

Don’t you want a real man?

Can I watch?

Can I join?

Once you have had me you will change

Is it easy to spot a gay person?

How do you do it?

Do you use toys?

What about penetration? lesbians dont experience 'real' penetration.

Is homosexual love the same as heterosexual love?

Is homosexuality natural?

How can lesbians and gay men be good parents?

How do they become parents?

Do gay people molest of recruit children?

Is there discrimination?

Why is there such self hatred?
A few years ago, you moved in with a woman, after leaving the a man. Do you find it easier living with a woman than a man because you have more in common?

You can use the same bathroom in movie theaters, for instance.

Can you share clothes?

Does she watch sports on TV?

Do you think of her as the male figure in the relationship?

Asked to me by a straight girl: am I your type? if I said No - she said - why not I am a woman! Do lesbians have types?

Where do lesbians meet other lesbians, at strip clubs?

Why do gay men act "weird"?

Do lesbians watch porn?

Its obvious how two women can be together, it because they like the same thing in bed right?

How do you know you are a lesbian?

I have this friend, who has this friend who is lesbian..are you erm single?

(assuming that all homo’s get along)

Being a lesbian is what you chose? (who the hell would choose this?)

Not sure whether I would answer these questions without A. wanting to smack them really hard over the head or B. Make a lot of fun out of these kinds of people or C. perhaps have some patience with their ignorance