Work and being out at a job...

always wondered why certain lesbians choose the certain work that they do...for instance I myself would be a (lets label it...) "soft butch" a "tom boy" "A chapstick lesbian" also known androgynous. She usually dresses quite casually and does not wear make-up,

I have have landed myself in administration work for the past 10 years after finishing Fashion School and being told that I do not fit the "designer mold" ..not sure what that meant or still means but I became quite despondant, I put myself through secretarial school and tried to be a normal corporate PA and was told that I wasn't "feminine enough" also not sure that meant, if Ellen can find a job and be accepted as the chapstick, soft butch lesbian and not have to be 'feminine' why cant the rest of us?
Unless you are truly one of those girls who people really question whether or not you are gay, the real lipstick feminine lesbian its difficult to find a company and a job who will let you wear what you want, suits included, talk about your latest lover or longstanding partner and be "out" and comfortable.
I now work in an environment which is not what you would call a 'accepting' environment. Although the Human Resources and policies are very good and protect the employee they cannot protect the employee from underlying prejudice and its hard hiding who I am and dicussing my 'partner' without calling her my wife or having to explain why I dont have kids and probably never will. In a sense I feel like I am back in the closet hiding my life. Pretending to be someone I am not. I am scared to '

come out'