Monday, January 26, 2009
do lesbians get the broody blues?
I was chatting one of my straight friends the other day and I mentioned that I was feeling quite broody of late as most of my straight friends are "matching and hatching", I was quite angry at what she came up with as to why I shouldn't as a gay woman have children.
here is the conversation with friend who has a kid:
me: "I am feeling quite broody lately"
friend: "really?" (with a frown in her voice)
me: "yes, really....I have been speaking to various people about the various options"
friend: "what does your partner say?"
me: "she is not that keen, she has nieces and nephews, we have a pet, we have each other what more do we need?"
friend: "hmmm......children are a huge commitment!! your life will change?"
me: "being in a relationship is a huge commitment, I want my life to change!"
friend: "your lifestyle of partying will stop"
me: "do you think at the age of over 30, I want to party all the time?"
friend goes onto to say (in a highly skeptical voice) that she does know gay people who have kids, but she does not give me much information about them....
why do I feel so judged for having normal motherhood feelings and emotions like any other mammal female? what gives straight people the right to feel that they are the only people in this world who must and can pro-create!!!!
here are some facts my friend:
How are the children conceived?
1. most of the research shows that it was not through heterosexual sex but other forms of insemination or adoption, most lesbian couples prefer if if given a choice to choose the donor.
Does the donor have to be part of the child's life?
This is usually at the descretion of the parents
Does one parent play the role of the mom and the other the dad?
What kind of question is that? its the same as asking whether one of the is the man and one is the woman? there are those couples that play the fem / butch roles but these days there are no roles and each parent will contribute their influences and backround into the relationship and to the child brought up in their home, as far as I am concerned I am a woman loving a woman, I am in a relationship with a woman and I do not want to be in a relationship with a man, why would I want a woman to portray herself as a man? according to research there is a lot of negotiation that takes place with regards to roles such as who carries the child, who takes the child to school etc but surely those are negotiations among straight parents too?
Who is the real mom?
most non-biological partners usually adopt the child so in fact both people are the child's legal parents.
What does the child call each 'mom'?
This depends on the parents and the child, sometimes 'mommy' and 'mom', sometimes first names.
what about a 'male' influence in the child's life?
I personally don't see any reason, why friends, cousins, uncles or grandparents should not be able to fit this bill?
As far as I am concerned its not the means of having the child its raising it to be good, kind and compassionate in a world that is misunderstood, cruel and unreasonable.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My New Purchase
I have decided to start with my new purchase: a 4rth generation ipod nano, 8G.
Being a techno kid who absolutely loves music, I have always wanted but sometimes could not afford the lastest "music" gadget.
After looking at thousands of internet sites and sending my manager on a window shopping, pricing trip while he was overseas, as well as doing window shopping at the stores myself, I even went as far as looking through all that useless advertising that you receive in the post.
I finally got a friend of a friend to bring me one from Canada!
This is someone elses review and I will comment:
The good: The fourth-generation iPod Nano is more attractive and colorful than its predecessor and includes Apple's new Genius playlist tool, a tilt sensor, and accessibility features for the visually impaired
I quite like the search facility, I havent quite got to use the genius playlist tool but the alarm clock, games, and stopwatch are very useful!
The bad: To use the new Nano, you must upgrade to Apple's iTunes 8 software with its laundry list of hardware requirements; the rounded screen invites glare; sound quality is only average.
itunes is not such a bad piece of software although I do wish I didnt have to use itunes and I could use any other software, I am yet to experience the glare, and the sound quality is good depending on the earphones you are using.
my irritation is the fact that I cannot find a compatible wall changer or a decent docking station for it as these things are yet to come onto the market?
It is a gorgeous little toy, I take it everywhere with me and it now has 1,435 songs on it from 1960-the new millenium!
and since this is a blog about lesbian stuff! its a lesbian must, especially for those poorer of us who dont have a car stereo, who's stereo has been ripped out of our cars or for drowning out nagging boring girlfriends and partners!!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
since my last blog.....
This Lesbian has gone through so many things in since her last blog, firstly its the new year 2009 with all its new hopes and prospects (well we hope there will be new prospects, particularly money and business wise)
I got my cat back from my ex ( officially called jack daniels the 'baggage' cat),
I purchased my 4rth generation ipod nano
I spent some of the beginning of the year watching the 5th Season of the L word,
I have a new little being in our extended family (this came with a whole lot of emotions for me),
And I am finally going to Europe for the first time in my life!!
so many things to talk about - which do I begin with???
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