Have you ever felt so different and alone in a room almost full of people you know?
I got invited to a dinner by my martial arts club, after a great amount of cajoling and convincing from my instructors, I decided to dress up for the occasion and shlep my partner along for moral support. I had told my instructors that because the club is a family club and not a "family" club, I would feel uncomfortable sitting at the dinner surrounded by all those straight happy families with their kids, they assured and re-assured me that myself and partner would be welcome and that we are living in a modern world and people should just deal with the fact that I am gay.
We get to the dinner, a woman walks up to us, says to me "Is this your friend? she is gorgeous, where have you been hiding her?" I am not sure what I make of that comment. We then decide to find a table, we have to sit alone because the people I usually train with have decided to exclude us, completely.
Enough was enough, I got my certificate, they spelt my name wrong, dinner was served 3 hours later ( I heard!) We left early! my decision from pure frustration, not to mention the expense for nothing that I enjoyed.
I left the party feeling so sad. I am so different from those people and it was so apparent. I will never be part of that kind of crowd or lead the lifestyle they lead.
Why was I sad when I want to be different? I have spent years fighting for my rights and the rights of others, the rights to be able to lead a 'different' lifestyle and have that lifestyle accepted into a society that discriminates against people who are 'different'.
I was sad because we, as a gay/lesbian community have to do much more fighting,educating, teaching and learning. Myself as a person has to constantly strive for that peace within myself to accept that not everyone will appreciate me for me.
And although I think I am different, we are all born different!
Charles M. Schwab: The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is.
